Former Machakos First Lady, Lilian Ng’ang’a, recently opened up about her past experience in an abusive relationship. Her revelation sheds light on the grim reality many individuals face in toxic and violent relationships. Lilian’s story is not unique, but it serves as a wake-up call for many who may be silently enduring similar situations.
Lilian described how, despite experiencing physical abuse, she remained in the relationship due to love and emotional attachment. This pattern is common in abusive relationships, where the victim often rationalizes the abuse or believes things will improve. The abuser may also manipulate their partner into staying through guilt, threats, or moments of affection that create false hope.
She recounted a particular incident where her ex-partner struck her in public simply because another man allegedly looked at her. Although she retaliated in that moment, she still chose to stay in the relationship. Like many survivors of abuse, she justified her injuries to others by claiming accidents, such as falling down the stairs. Looking back, she calls this decision “madness” but acknowledges that it was a painful lesson she needed to learn.
Abuse is never the victim’s fault. Many survivors grapple with guilt, questioning what they did wrong or how they might have provoked the violence. However, no action, behavior, or perceived shortcoming justifies physical or emotional harm. Lilian’s story emphasizes that survivors deserve a life free from violence, fear, and manipulation.
For those trapped in abusive relationships, seeking help can be daunting but is crucial. According to HelpGuide.org, there are steps one can take to protect themselves and their children while working toward freedom:
- Reach out to domestic violence support services: Many organizations offer emotional support, emergency shelter, counseling, and legal assistance.
- Build a support network: Even if an abuser isolates their partner, staying connected with friends, family, or support groups can be lifesaving.
- Prioritize self-care and mental well-being: Engaging in activities that foster self-worth can help counteract the emotional toll of abuse.
Lilian’s advice to those facing abuse is simple: Leave when you find the clarity to do so. Walking away is difficult, but every survivor deserves a future where they are valued and safe. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, remember that support exists, and freedom is possible.
