Ruth Matete, a Kenyan musician-turned-pastor, has opened up about the emotional toll of receiving blame for the death of her late husband, Pastor John Apewajoye. Since the tragic passing of her husband in 2020, Matete has been dealing with public scrutiny, including accusations from some followers who still hold her responsible for his death.
In a recent Instagram post, Matete shared a message from a fan who harshly criticized her for allegedly forgetting her late husband. The fan, in an emotional direct message, accused Matete of living her life without any form of remembrance for Pastor Apewajoye, questioning why she hadn’t posted anything on her social media accounts to commemorate his death. The fan also accused her of “flaunting” their daughter and insinuated that she had not properly mourned her husband’s loss, adding that it seemed as though she had moved on without a second thought.
Matete was visibly hurt by the message, and in her response, she expressed her exhaustion with being blamed for something that she didn’t do. She pointed out that it had been five years since her husband’s passing, and yet people were still unwilling to forgive her for a tragic accident. The musician-turned-pastor wrote that she was tired of trying to be strong in the face of public judgment, asking, “What am I supposed to do? Throw a party every year to remember my husband’s death? Haven’t I tried?”
Pastor John Apewajoye passed away after a gas explosion occurred while he was working on a gas cylinder. The explosion caused a fire when the gas got absorbed by clothes hanging nearby. The couple had been married for only a few months when the tragic accident occurred. Despite the fact that the incident was ruled as an accident, some members of the public have continued to point fingers at Matete, leaving her to bear an emotional burden she never should have had to face.
In her post, Matete acknowledged the difficulty of dealing with the ongoing accusations, especially when she had been acquitted by the court in her husband’s case. The court found her not guilty of any wrongdoing in the incident, yet the public’s judgment has persisted, and Matete feels she cannot escape the blame, even though she had no part in the tragedy.
The criticism has been especially hard for Matete because, in addition to grieving her husband, she has also had to focus on raising their daughter, Toluwa, and continuing with her life. Moving to Canada with her daughter in 2023 was a way for Matete to find peace and start anew, but it seems that the wounds from the past are still fresh for some. The public’s inability to forgive her for a situation that was beyond her control has been a constant challenge for the musician, who is now trying to balance her public life and personal healing.
Matete’s response reflects the emotional toll that public judgment can have on someone who is still processing the loss of a loved one. While she continues to mourn in her own way, the pressure to meet others’ expectations of how she should remember her late husband only adds to her struggle. As she moves forward, she hopes to find peace and freedom from the weight of others’ criti
