Gareth Thomas, a dual-code rugby international, reflects on the profound challenges he faced throughout his career and personal life. With a legacy that includes playing 100 times for Wales in rugby union and four times in rugby league, Thomas became the first openly gay male professional rugby player. He has spent the last few years of his life shedding light on issues surrounding sexuality, HIV, and the stigma attached to them.
In 2011, Thomas retired after his club, Crusaders, withdrew from Super League, and injury prevented him from leading Wales against top teams in the Four Nations. At the time, he was the only out gay male player in a pool of around 3,500 professionals across rugby, football, and cricket. As of today, that number has remained the same, underscoring the slow progress in this area.
Five years ago, Thomas publicly disclosed that he was living with HIV, and at 50, he is in good health. However, his journey has not been without controversy. He faced a legal battle in early 2023 after a former partner accused him of infecting him with HIV. Although Thomas maintained his innocence, he settled the case without admitting liability due to the high legal costs involved.
Now, Thomas is focused on raising awareness about HIV, particularly among young rugby players and fans who might not understand the risks. He often finds that many are unaware of the realities of HIV transmission. Thomas has traveled with the “Tackle HIV” bus, visiting locations such as the Rugby World Cup in France and university freshers’ weeks, where he engages in frank discussions about sexual health. He emphasizes the importance of education, noting that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) have surged in the UK, with young people, especially females, being disproportionately affected. Despite this, many remain unaware of the risks, with half of 18- to 24-year-olds not believing they need HIV testing, even though they are among the highest-risk groups.
Through his work, Thomas seeks to educate others about the realities of HIV and combat the misinformation and stigma that persist. He recalls how, when speaking to a group of medical students, one believed HIV could be transmitted by sharing utensils a myth he had been told by his family. This example highlights the gaps in knowledge that still exist, even among those in the medical field. His approach to these conversations is direct and candid, knowing that uncomfortable truths must be addressed to challenge outdated beliefs.
In addition to advocating for HIV awareness, Thomas also stresses the importance of fostering a more inclusive environment within rugby. He recalls the pressures and fears he faced as a young player, particularly when transitioning from a small-town life to playing for Wales and traveling to global events like the World Cup. The fear of failure, and the societal pressure to “be tough” and maintain a certain image, made it difficult for many players, himself included, to show vulnerability. Over time, he learned that acknowledging one’s fears and imperfections is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Although rugby players today may have more support than Thomas did, he believes that the understanding of mental health and personal authenticity is still lacking in the sport. He recalls how many players, especially young ones, are expected to suppress their fears and insecurities in order to fit the “tough guy” stereotype. This pressure, according to Thomas, makes it difficult for players to be their true selves.
Reflecting on his own career, Thomas reveals that while he dismissed the 1999 Rugby World Cup, which was filled with negative experiences, he spent far more time in his autobiography discussing his 2010 rugby league victory at the European Championship. That moment, he says, was marked by a deep sense of authenticity, as he was surrounded by teammates who fully understood and accepted who he was. The victory felt all the more special because it was achieved with a team that truly celebrated each individual’s identity.
Despite the hardships he faced, Thomas is adamant that rugby gave him the strength to rebuild and grow. “Rugby broke me down, but I managed to rebuild myself stronger,” he reflects. “A life has only been lived when you’ve been to breaking point and you realize you’ve had the strength to get back up and keep going.” Through his experiences, Thomas learned that being broken is a part of the journey to becoming stronger, and that true resilience is found in the process of rebuilding oneself.
Today, Thomas stands as a role model for many, not only in his fight against HIV-related stigma but also in his broader efforts to encourage others to embrace their authentic selves, both on and off the field.
