Marriage is often seen as a union rooted in trust and openness, but for many Kenyans living with HIV, the fear of rejection and stigma overshadows this ideal. A recent report by the National Empowerment Network of People Living with HIV/Aids in Kenya (Nephak) reveals that nearly half of all married Kenyans with HIV have not disclosed their status to their spouses. This widespread secrecy stems from a deep-seated fear of stigma, discrimination, and the potential breakdown of familial and social ties.
The Kenya Stigma Index 2024, which gathered data from 1,305 individuals living with HIV across all counties, provides a stark picture of the challenges these individuals face. Of those interviewed, only 56 percent had disclosed their status to their partners, with men being slightly more forthcoming (59 percent) than women (54 percent). The data suggests that women bear a heavier burden, often being blamed for introducing the virus into their marriages, which leads to heightened levels of stigma and even abuse.
The reluctance to disclose one’s HIV status within a marriage has significant health implications. Experts warn that when one partner remains unaware of the other’s status, the risk of transmission increases, particularly when unprotected sex continues under false assumptions of health. Additionally, couples miss out on the opportunity to support one another in adhering to treatment and managing the emotional toll of living with the virus.
Many women recounted harrowing experiences of rejection, not just by their spouses but also by their extended families and workplaces. Some reported being excluded from family activities like cooking and communal gatherings once their status became known. The report highlights that 46.3 percent of women had experienced verbal harassment compared to 40.5 percent of men, while 23.9 percent of women faced physical harassment versus 18.1 percent of men. These statistics underscore the harsh reality that stigma within the family unit and community disproportionately affects women, leaving them isolated and vulnerable.
Men, too, shared their struggles with disclosing their status. One man from Kiambu described how, after disclosing his HIV-positive status to his partner, he faced emotional distancing and conditions around intimacy, including being denied physical affection. Such experiences reflect the pervasive fear among many that honesty could lead to the breakdown of their relationships.
The stigma surrounding HIV also extends to the parent-child relationship. Only about 30 percent of parents disclose their status to their children. One woman from Nairobi explained that while her husband knows her status, she has chosen not to inform her children or extended family, fearing judgment and social exclusion.
Despite these challenges, Nephak CEO Nelson Otwoma noted that overall stigma levels have been declining in Kenya, and the findings of this report provide valuable insights to continue this progress. The 2024 report builds on the 2021 Kenya Country Assessment Report, which also documented a decrease in stigma and discrimination over time.
However, the report also reveals a high discordance rate of 36 percent, where one partner is HIV positive and the other is not, emphasizing the urgent need for increased awareness and open communication within relationships. Dorothy Onyango, CEO of Women Fighting Aids in Kenya and chair of the survey’s national steering committee, stressed that Kenya’s goal of ending AIDS as a public health threat by 2030 will remain unattainable unless stigma and discrimination are addressed head-on.
The internal struggles faced by those living with HIV are immense. Seven out of ten respondents admitted finding it difficult to disclose their status to anyone, and three in four reported being unable to find a romantic partner due to their condition. These findings reflect the emotional toll and isolation many endure in silence.
As Kenya works towards a future free from HIV-related stigma, the voices in this report serve as a powerful reminder of the work that remains. Ending stigma is not just about health—it’s about restoring dignity, trust, and human connection.
