There was a time when buying a new item of clothing meant either inheriting it from a family member or physically going to a store and trying it on in a fitting room. Now, you can purchase something in just a few minutes from the comfort of your couch.
Online shopping was supposed to make my life easier. The convenience of buying clothes from home or while commuting should have freed up time and energy. It should have made me a more ethical consumer too, allowing me to shop secondhand or from sustainable brands. But instead, I found myself drawn into a cycle of endless scrolling, consumerism, and debt.
I used to spend hours browsing websites, looking at models who bore no resemblance to me, wearing clothes I could neither afford nor pull off. Shopping online became a way to escape. Whether waiting for a friend at a restaurant or recovering from a tough day at work, I would pull out my phone and scroll through endless pages of clothes. I told myself it was a harmless distraction, but in reality, it was an expensive and time-consuming habit. I often bought things I didn’t need, and even when the clothes didn’t fit or weren’t right, I couldn’t bring myself to return them. The whole process felt overwhelming, and I would convince myself that the clothes might work someday, even if they didn’t now.
The constant pursuit of the perfect outfit became a metaphor for the search for my ideal self. I convinced myself that the right sweater dress or pair of boots would somehow make everything fall into place. But instead of feeling better, I became exhausted by the endless hunt.
Eventually, I reached a breaking point. After a particularly eye-opening closet purge before a move, I decided to stop shopping online altogether. I made a vow to only shop in person and to only buy clothes I truly loved, in the moment, as they were. Almost immediately, I noticed a difference. I had more free time and mental energy. Shopping in person required more effort, but it felt like a more intentional activity. I no longer spent hours imagining what I might wear if I were someone else. I wasn’t constantly reminding myself of what I lacked.
Over time, I started to feel better about myself. I wasn’t chasing an idealized version of who I thought I should be. Instead, I focused on embracing the person I was, as I was. I also found that I saved money. Without the endless temptation of online sales and promotions, I became more selective about what I bought, and my purchases felt more meaningful.
I haven’t been perfect, and I still struggle with the urge to shop at times. I occasionally slip up and buy something that seemed like a great deal, only to regret it later. But for the most part, I’ve stuck to my commitment. When I feel the urge to scroll through online stores, I take a moment to reflect on why I feel the need to shop. Often, I realize it’s because I’m bored or feeling insecure, and simply acknowledging that helps to curb the impulse.
If the urge still persists, I head to a store and confront the reality of trying things on in a fitting room. It’s a far more grounded experience, and it reminds me that shopping is about more than just acquiring new things it’s about making thoughtful choices that align with who I am.
