Is parenting primarily a sacrifice or merely a responsibility? This question has sparked discussions, especially as motivational speaker Benjamin Zulu shares anecdotes about toxic parenting.
Toxic parenting remains a significant issue within many African families, particularly among Generation Z. However, it’s a sensitive topic often avoided by African parents, who may view criticism of their parenting styles as disrespectful.
Despite this reluctance to discuss the issue, many individuals from diverse families silently endure childhood traumas inflicted by toxic parenting. The fear of being labelled ungrateful often prevents them from speaking up against their parents’ harmful behaviour.
As a result, these childhood traumas can resurface in adulthood, leading some individuals to distance themselves from their parents in search of peace. Home environments tainted by negativity may even be perceived as prisons.
Benjamin Zulu’s discussions shed light on this matter, prompting viewers to share their experiences. One viewer mentioned that choosing not to return home after university was a pivotal decision for their growth and peace.
Mothers, often seen as the primary perpetrators of toxic behaviour, may lack the emotional capacity to nurture and validate their children. They may project their own conflicts and insecurities onto their children, perpetuating harmful patterns.
It’s believed that previous generations of women entered marriage without a strong sense of individuality, leading to regrets and subsequent projection of those regrets onto their children.
As a result of such experiences, children raised in toxic environments may develop negative views of marriage and parenthood, fearing they will repeat the cycle of trauma. Many choose to prioritize healing before considering starting families of their own in the future.
