Lizzie and Richard bonded over their shared love for languages and teaching. But when it came to meditation, their experiences could not have been more different.
The Participants
Lizzie, 29, Oxford
Occupation: Teaching assistant and trainee teacher
Voting record: Always votes Green but would tactically vote Labour outside Oxford
Fun fact: An avid salsa dancer who performs world music in multiple languages
Richard, 55, Tunbridge Wells
Occupation: Teacher
Voting record: Centrist, has voted for all three main parties but hasn’t always been pleased with the outcomes
Fun fact: Started his career selling mushy peas and instant noodles
First Impressions
Lizzie found Richard kind and friendly, though his shaved head reminded her of past experiences with meditators, sparking a brief concern that she might be meeting an evangelist. Richard, arriving early as he always does, found Lizzie to be cool and at ease.
Their meal choices reflected their distinct tastes Lizzie enjoyed sea bass with mussels, samphire, and a Catalan crème, with a highlight being the homemade pink lemonade. Richard opted for aubergine parmigiana.
The Debate
Lizzie’s experience with meditation began at university through mindfulness programs, eventually leading to a retreat that had a profoundly negative impact on her mental health. The fallout lasted years, leaving her concerned about the potential risks of mindfulness interventions, especially for young people. While she acknowledged that meditation can be beneficial, she emphasized the need for quality control and better safeguarding.
Richard saw mindfulness as a fundamental life skill and viewed short practices as broadly beneficial. However, he recognized that deep-dive retreats were a different matter. While he acknowledged concerns about potential harm, he didn’t view meditation as inherently dangerous. He believed Lizzie framed it as a cult, though he admitted some aspects could be “a bit culty,” much like other intensive pursuits, from cycling to Ironman competitions. His main concern lay in the lack of safeguarding for those undergoing intensive retreats.
Common Ground
Despite their differences, Lizzie and Richard connected over their shared journey in teaching. Richard reassured Lizzie, who was approaching 30 without a solid career path, that many people take time to find their direction. They also discovered they had similar academic backgrounds both studied French and Spanish at prestigious universities.
Their discussion led to a deeper understanding of each other’s experiences with meditation. Lizzie admitted she tended to dismiss the idea that meditation could be helpful, while Richard shared how it had supported him during a stable period in his life. They speculated that their differing life circumstances at the time of their introduction to meditation could explain why their experiences diverged so drastically.
Final Thoughts
For Lizzie, the evening was a heartening experience that restored her faith in open conversation. Richard found it a privilege to engage in such a discussion and left feeling grateful for the exchange.
Would you like to meet someone from across the divide? Find out how to take part.
