Kambua Opens Up About the Emotional Weight of Answering ‘How Many Kids Do You Have?’

In a touching TikTok video, gospel minister Kambua Manundu opened up about a deeply personal struggle many parents face: how to respond when asked, “How many children do you have?” This seemingly simple question becomes emotionally complex for Kambua, as she reflects on the lives of her children, including those she has lost. Her candid discussion shines a light on the nuances of motherhood, grief, and the importance of compassion, especially during October, which is recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

The Weight of a Simple Question

Kambua’s struggle stems from her personal journey as a mother. In her video, she contemplates whether to say she has two children currently at home or three because she gave birth to three, losing one along the way. “Is it four, including the miscarriage?” she questions, revealing the emotional weight behind each potential answer. Each pregnancy, whether brought to full term or not, holds significant meaning and memories, making it challenging to provide a straightforward response. This complexity resonates with many parents who have navigated similar experiences of loss and longing.

A Personal Journey of Loss

Kambua is a mother to two children, Nathaniel and Natalie, but she also faced the heartbreaking loss of her second son, Malachi, shortly after his birth in 2021. Additionally, she experienced a miscarriage before the birth of Malachi, which further complicates her feelings and perceptions of motherhood. Each child represents a unique chapter in her life, filled with hopes, dreams, and the unfulfilled potential of what could have been. The pain of losing a child—whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or other circumstances—leaves an indelible mark on a parent’s heart.

Kambua’s openness about her struggles reflects a growing movement among parents and caregivers to speak about their experiences with loss. By sharing her story, she not only honors her children but also creates a space for others to express their own grief and healing. This act of vulnerability can be incredibly cathartic and essential for both the individual sharing and those listening.

Compassion During Loss

One of the key messages Kambua emphasizes is the need for compassion and understanding for those who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. In her video, she speaks directly to mothers who may feel isolated or invisible in their grief, reminding them that they are seen and loved. “This is the month to remember all of you,” she says, acknowledging the multitude of experiences that fall under the umbrella of pregnancy and infant loss. Whether it’s losing embryos, twins, or experiencing stillbirth, each loss carries its own weight, and each story deserves to be told.

Compassion can take many forms, from simply listening to someone share their experience to offering support in practical ways. For many, acknowledging the existence of their lost children—whether through words, rituals, or memorials—can provide solace and a sense of connection. Kambua’s encouragement serves as a reminder that those who have faced loss are not alone in their journey.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time dedicated to honoring the memories of those lost and raising awareness about the realities of miscarriage, stillbirth, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and other forms of infant loss. The month is a poignant reminder of the importance of discussing these issues openly and sensitively, helping to reduce the stigma surrounding grief and loss.

During this month, various organizations and individuals come together to advocate for greater awareness, support, and understanding of pregnancy and infant loss. Activities may include remembrance walks, candle-lighting ceremonies, and social media campaigns aimed at raising awareness and fostering community support.

Kambua’s contributions to this conversation are invaluable. By sharing her journey, she helps others feel less isolated in their experiences. The impact of her message can resonate beyond her immediate circle, encouraging conversations that challenge societal norms around grief and motherhood.

The Importance of Healing

For Kambua, sharing her story is not only about honoring her lost children but also about her own healing journey. Grief is a complex and often isolating process, and finding healthy ways to cope is essential for emotional well-being. By speaking publicly about her experiences, Kambua engages in a form of catharsis that can foster healing—not just for herself but for others who may be grappling with similar emotions.

Healing from loss is not a linear process; it can involve moments of joy and deep sorrow, sometimes existing simultaneously. The significance of this journey lies in the acknowledgment of all emotions involved—grief, love, pain, and hope. Kambua’s message encourages parents to embrace their feelings fully and seek support when needed, whether through friends, family, or professional counseling.

Supporting Others

As Kambua highlights, it’s essential to remember that every individual’s experience with loss is unique. Support for grieving parents should be compassionate and nonjudgmental. Friends and family members often struggle to know what to say or do for someone who has experienced a loss. Simple gestures, such as offering a listening ear or providing practical help, can be incredibly meaningful.

Creating a safe space for open conversations about loss can also help destigmatize these experiences. Many people feel uncomfortable discussing topics related to death and grief, but acknowledging and validating these emotions can provide immense comfort to those in mourning. Kambua’s willingness to share her story can inspire others to open up about their experiences and create connections that foster healing.

Embracing Love and Remembrance

Ultimately, Kambua’s story emphasizes the love that persists even in the face of loss. Each of her children, whether living or lost, holds a special place in her heart, and she encourages others to honor their children’s memories in their unique ways. This could include creating memorials, participating in awareness events, or simply sharing their stories with others.

In the spirit of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Kambua’s message serves as a powerful reminder of the resilience of love and the importance of recognizing and honoring every life, no matter how brief. By encouraging open conversations about loss and fostering compassion for one another, we can create a supportive community that embraces those navigating the complexities of grief.

Conclusion

Kambua Manundu’s heartfelt reflections on her motherhood journey remind us of the intricate tapestry of joy and sorrow that can coexist in the lives of parents. As we observe Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, let us honor those affected by loss, offer support to one another, and create spaces where love, remembrance, and healing can flourish. Through compassion, understanding, and open dialogue, we can uplift each other, reminding those in grief that they are never alone in their journey.