Sarah Kabu, the Managing Director of Bonfire Adventures, has recently found herself at the center of controversy following news that she had left her marital home, shared with her husband, Simon Kabu. This revelation has ignited discussions across social media, especially as Sarah is known for her strong opinions on marriage. Before this personal upheaval, Sarah had built a reputation for offering advice, particularly to women, on how to handle marital issues, including infidelity.
One of Sarah’s most controversial statements came during an interview in November 2024 on Art of Living on KTN, where she advised women that infidelity should not be a reason to leave their husbands. “But nowadays I am telling women, actually cheating should not be one of the reasons we leave men, or we should be worried about our husband,” she said. Her suggestion that women should focus on “bigger things” than their husband’s potential infidelity struck a chord with many, but not always in a positive way.
Sarah emphasized that women should become “unbothered” by their husband’s actions, a mindset that, according to her, would make men more attentive. “When you become unbothered, they become worried. How come you are not checking on me? You are not praying for me?” Sarah explained. This sentiment was a part of a broader belief that women should not continuously chase their husbands or micromanage their relationships. “We cannot keep chasing them all the time, let men be who they were created to be,” she added.
This philosophy was not limited to casual affairs. In several instances, Sarah defended men who cheated, suggesting that infidelity in marriage might not necessarily indicate a lack of love. “You know I’ve seen a lot of couples separating nowadays, and I feel that it’s not necessary unless it’s life-threatening, there’s no need. If your life is not in danger, if you’re not under any threat, he is just having fun, let him be,” she remarked in one of her interviews. This advice, though contentious, highlighted her belief that marital infidelity could be viewed as a temporary lapse or a less serious issue than other potential problems.
Sarah’s take on infidelity and relationships continued to stir debate on social media. In a post reacting to a scandal in Equatorial Guinea, involving a man, Baltasar Ebang Engonga Avomo, who was reportedly involved with hundreds of women, Sarah again stated her position on cheating. She advised the wife of Engonga, who had been subjected to her husband’s infidelity, not to file for divorce. “I repeat no virtuous woman should leave her marriage because of cheating. Just be celibate or use protection in the marriage,” she wrote on Instagram.
Perhaps one of the most controversial statements from Sarah came during an appearance on the Hey Girl podcast with Eve Mungai, where she stated that men who cheat still deeply love their wives. “Most married men dearly love their wives. If you’re a married woman, you made vows, he put a ring on your finger, and he hasn’t chased you away, and he is cheating on you, just know deep down he truly loves you and wishes to spend the rest of his life with you,” Sarah argued. She went on to claim that even though men might have affairs, they rarely abandon their wives for side chicks. Citing examples of politicians involved in extramarital relationships, Sarah contended that the men still prioritize their wives, as evidenced by their investments being listed in their wives’ names.
Despite her bold perspectives, Sarah’s advice has been met with criticism, especially now that she has left her own marriage. The irony of her situation has not gone unnoticed, and many are questioning the validity of her past advice. While her personal struggles might make her more relatable to some, others argue that her views on relationships, particularly regarding infidelity, were oversimplified and damaging to women in vulnerable situations.
As Sarah navigates her personal turmoil, her past advice continues to resonate and provoke discussions about the complexities of marriage. For many, her stance on infidelity and relationships may remain an idealistic view, while others may see it as a reflection of the challenges women face in balancing their own desires with societal expectations. Regardless of the criticisms, Sarah Kabu’s controversial marriage advice has undeniably sparked conversations about love, loyalty, and the expectations placed on women in marriage.
