In the world of parenting, especially for public figures, the little choices can become a reflection of one’s values and beliefs. Kenyan singer Wahu Kagwi, celebrated for her talent and her vibrant personality, recently shared her approach to a seemingly ordinary decision that resonated with many parents and fans: why she has yet to braid her youngest daughter Shiru’s hair. Behind this choice lies a philosophy of gentle parenting, prioritizing the comfort and individuality of her child a perspective many parents may relate to.
A Mother’s Decision: When Haircare Becomes a Balancing Act
Wahu, wife to fellow musician Nameless and mother of three, often uses her platform to discuss the ups and downs of parenthood. Recently, she opened up on Instagram about her choice not to braid her youngest daughter’s hair. Shiru, still a toddler, has short and soft hair, making braiding challenging and potentially uncomfortable. Wahu explained that forcing a braid on Shiru’s delicate hair could be unpleasant for her, especially given her energetic nature. “Shi’s hair is not long…so kushika is not easy…and even if I were to try, it would be such an unpleasant experience for her because she is the sort of child who can’t stay still for more than 5 minutes,” Wahu shared.
What makes Wahu’s choice particularly insightful is her awareness of her daughter’s personality. As a mother, Wahu understands that Shiru is restless and struggles to sit still—whether she’s eating, playing, or even getting her hair done. Many parents face similar challenges with young children, whose unique personalities demand creative approaches to routine tasks. Wahu’s reflection reminds us that not every tradition or expectation is meant to be adhered to if it doesn’t suit a child’s individual temperament.
The Influence of Comparison: Nyakio vs. Shiru
Wahu’s approach to Shiru’s haircare also brought up memories of her other daughters. She noted that her second daughter, Nyakio, was far calmer about getting her hair done. In Wahu’s words, “Nyakio for sure was not like that. She was (and still is) very calm when getting her hair done.” This difference between her two younger daughters highlights an essential aspect of parenting: recognizing and adapting to each child’s unique personality.
Every parent of multiple children knows the inevitable comparisons that come with raising kids with different temperaments. But Wahu’s choice to respect Shiru’s restlessness, rather than pressuring her to conform to her sister’s calmness, demonstrates a profound acceptance of each child’s individuality. This acceptance allows her to meet her children where they are, adapting her approach to fit their needs rather than trying to change them.
Anxiety-Free Haircare: A Key Concern for Wahu
For Wahu, the goal is clear: she doesn’t want Shiru to develop anxiety or dread around haircare. She explained that if Shiru has a negative early experience with braiding, it might create a lasting aversion to haircare a sentiment Wahu herself could relate to. “I don’t believe getting your hair done should be unpleasant…If she has an unhappy start to doing her hair, it may give her anxiety which is not what we want.”
Many parents may resonate with this philosophy, especially in a world where traditional beauty standards and cultural expectations can influence children’s self-perception from an early age. By ensuring that Shiru’s first experiences with haircare are positive and comfortable, Wahu aims to instill a sense of confidence and pride in her appearance.
Wahu’s experiences with her oldest daughter Tumiso added depth to her decision. She recalled that Tumiso didn’t enjoy getting her hair done as a young child and often had to “tolerate” the process until she was around 9 or 10 years old. Wahu admitted that, in retrospect, she would have allowed Tumiso more autonomy and freedom with her hair choices, rather than enforcing a traditional approach. “If I could go back in time, I would slow down on the braiding thing with Tumi…now I know better,” she reflected.
Hair Texture Matters: Soft and Hard-to-Braid Hair
Shiru’s soft hair texture presented another practical reason for Wahu’s reluctance to braid her hair. With a texture that can quickly lose its shape, the effort of braiding might not yield long-lasting results. Wahu pointed out that even if she went through the entire process of braiding, Shiru’s hair would likely look untidy within a few days. This would mean frequent re-braiding—a daunting task for a child who struggles to stay still.
“Shi’s hair is extremely soft so even if we were to go through the entire process, it will be untidy in 5 days…then we have to go through the whole discomfort of, keti nikubomoe, all again with a baby that struggles to keep still,” Wahu explained. For Wahu, the priority remains Shiru’s comfort and happiness over adhering to conventional beauty standards. Her openness to this less traditional approach offers a refreshing reminder to many parents facing similar challenges.
A Gentle Haircare Routine: Wahu’s Alternative to Braiding
Instead of braiding, Wahu has adopted a gentle haircare routine that accommodates Shiru’s sensitivities. Her process involves washing, conditioning, treating, and moisturizing Shiru’s hair, occasionally styling it in big matutas (loose braids). She chooses organic products for Shiru’s hair and skin, mindful of her daughter’s allergies and skin sensitivity. This organic approach aligns with Wahu’s emphasis on maintaining Shiru’s comfort and wellbeing as a priority.
A Reflection on Parenting Lessons Learned
Reflecting on her journey as a mother, Wahu shared wisdom passed down from her late father, Mr. Kagwi, who told her, “A woman’s hair is her crown.” For Wahu, this saying is a guiding principle that goes beyond style; it emphasizes the importance of self-confidence, joy, and comfort in personal choices. Her aim for her daughters is to associate their hair with positive emotions rather than discomfort or anxiety.
As a first-time mother with Tumiso, Wahu felt compelled to follow certain beauty practices that, in hindsight, she might have reconsidered. The social expectation that “it’s normal for kids to cry in the salon” made her believe that crying was an inevitable part of the experience. With Shiru, however, Wahu feels differently. By resisting the impulse to braid too early, she is making a conscious effort to ensure that her daughter’s experience with haircare is positive from the start.
Empowering Parents to Honor Their Children’s Comfort
Wahu’s approach highlights a broader lesson in parenting: understanding and honoring a child’s unique needs over societal expectations. In a culture where grooming and appearance can hold significant weight, her choice serves as a reminder that each child’s comfort should be prioritized. While some children might sit calmly through long hairstyling sessions, others may struggle, and that difference should be respected.
By sharing her story, Wahu not only provides insight into her parenting journey but also offers encouragement to other parents who may feel pressured to conform to traditional standards. Through her social media, she has created a space for dialogue on the importance of respecting each child’s comfort and individuality, a message that resonates deeply in today’s parenting landscape.
Conclusion: Beauty, Comfort, and Parenting Evolved
Wahu’s reflections on Shiru’s haircare routine underscore a central theme in modern parenting: the importance of adapting practices to fit each child’s personality and needs. As Wahu chooses a gentler, more individualized approach to her daughter’s haircare, she empowers other parents to trust their instincts and prioritize their children’s comfort and happiness. In a world that often values appearance over personal comfort, Wahu’s perspective is a refreshing reminder of the power of gentle parenting and the freedom that comes with embracing each child’s uniqueness.
